How do you define success in life?

Perhaps success is not about reaching the top. Perhaps it is about being able to sleep peacefully at night.

I have often wondered what exactly success means.

Is it having a big house, a good bank balance, an expensive car, a respectable position in society, or a name that people recognise? Is it being able to travel abroad every year, eat in fancy restaurants, wear branded clothes and post beautiful pictures on social media?

Well, perhaps all these things are part of success. I am not against them. Who doesn’t like a comfortable life? Who doesn’t want to fulfil his dreams, buy something he has always wanted, or see his family living happily?

But somehow, I feel that success is much more than all this.

And honestly, I haven’t been able to find one perfect definition of it.

The funny thing about success is that everybody wants it, but nobody seems to agree on what it actually is.

The race that nobody knows how to finish

When we are young, success has a very simple meaning.

Get good marks. Find a good job. Earn well. Get married. Buy a house. Raise children. Save money. Make a name for yourself.

And then, one day, you discover that the finish line has moved!

You earn ₹30,000 and dream of earning ₹50,000. When you reach ₹50,000, you want ₹1 lakh. You buy a small car and start looking at bigger ones. You purchase a house and begin dreaming of another property.

There is nothing wrong with ambition. Ambition keeps us moving. But there is a small problem.

In this continuous race, we sometimes forget to enjoy the life we are actually living.

We postpone happiness.

I will be happy when I get that job.

I will relax when I have enough money.

I will travel when I have more time.

I will enjoy life after my responsibilities are over.

And responsibilities, my dear friends, are like those relatives who arrive without informing you and then refuse to leave!

Life keeps moving. That perfect tomorrow rarely arrives.

Some sweet moments that money cannot buy

Let me tell you something.

Have you ever experienced the happiness of sitting with an old friend after years? No particular occasion, no special arrangement. Just two people, a cup of tea, some meaningless conversations and a few memories that suddenly make you laugh.

Have you ever returned home tired and found someone waiting for you with a simple question, “Khana kha liya?”

Have you ever bought something small for your parents and noticed that their happiness was much bigger than the price of the gift?

Have you ever helped somebody without expecting anything in return?

These are small things. Ordinary things.

Nobody gives you a trophy for them. Nobody writes an article about you. There is no LinkedIn post announcing that you made somebody smile today.

But somewhere inside, you feel good.

And I wonder, isn’t that also a form of success?

Perhaps one of the most beautiful achievements in life is to become somebody whose presence makes another person’s day a little better.

And then there are the sour moments

Of course, life isn’t always sweet.

There are days when you feel that despite doing everything right, nothing is working.

You work hard, but somebody else gets the credit. You trust people, and some of them disappoint you. You make sacrifices for your family, but nobody notices them. You try to be good to everyone, yet somebody finds a reason to misunderstand you.

Sometimes, you look at people who seem to be doing exceptionally well and quietly ask yourself:

“Where did I go wrong?”

That question can hurt.

There are moments when even your closest friends are busy with their own lives. Your children grow up and become independent. People you once thought would always remain around slowly become memories.

And then there are failures.

Examinations you couldn’t clear. Opportunities you missed. Businesses that didn’t work. Relationships that couldn’t survive. Dreams that remained dreams.

Nobody prepares us for these things.

We are taught how to succeed, but rarely taught how to live when things don’t go our way.

Perhaps that is where the real test of life begins.

Because success is not simply about how many times you have won. It is also about how gracefully you have handled the times you lost.

Success is not the absence of failure

I have met people who have achieved very little by society’s standards but have lived beautiful lives.

A small shopkeeper who works honestly, feeds his family, helps his neighbours and sleeps peacefully.

A schoolteacher who never became famous but has influenced hundreds of students.

A homemaker who has never received a salary but has held an entire family together through difficult times.

An old man who has very little money but still finds happiness in feeding birds every morning.

Are these people unsuccessful?

I don’t think so.

And I have also seen people who have everything that society considers desirable but are constantly unhappy, restless and dissatisfied.

That doesn’t mean money, position or achievements are unimportant. They are important. Financial independence gives dignity. A good career gives confidence. Achieving a dream gives immense satisfaction.

But these things should add to our lives, not become the only reason for living.

The biggest mistake we make

I think one of our biggest mistakes is allowing other people to define our success.

We compare our salary with somebody else’s salary, our house with somebody else’s house, our children’s achievements with somebody else’s children, and even our holidays with somebody else’s holidays.

Social media has made this comparison even more interesting.

Someone is having breakfast in Paris. Someone is buying a new car. Someone has become a millionaire at 25. Someone is celebrating an anniversary in Switzerland.

And here we are, sitting in our old chair, wondering why life hasn’t been equally generous!

But we forget something very important.

We are comparing our everyday reality with somebody else’s carefully selected moments.

We don’t know what happens after the photograph is taken. We don’t know their struggles, their insecurities, their family problems or the price they have paid for their achievements.

Everybody has a story. And every story has its own sweet and sour chapters.

So why should we judge our entire life by looking at somebody else’s best photograph?

What if success is something much simpler?

I sometimes feel that success should be measured differently.

Not by the number of things we own, but by the number of things we can enjoy.

Not by how many people know us, but by how many people remember us with affection.

Not by how high we have climbed, but by how many people we have helped along the way.

Not by how much money we have accumulated, but by whether we have enough to live with dignity and share a little with others.

And perhaps, most importantly, not by how perfectly we have lived, but by how honestly we have lived.

Imagine reaching an age when you can look back and say:

“I made mistakes, but I learnt from them.”

“I lost some people, but I loved them sincerely.”

“I didn’t achieve everything I wanted, but I didn’t stop trying.”

“I had difficult days, but I didn’t allow bitterness to take over my heart.”

“I may not have become a very successful person in the eyes of the world, but I tried to be a decent human being.”

Wouldn’t that be a satisfying feeling?

A little conversation with ourselves

Perhaps tonight, instead of worrying about what we haven’t achieved, we should ask ourselves a few simple questions.

• Am I able to sleep peacefully?

• Do I have at least one person with whom I can speak without pretending?

• Can I laugh freely, without worrying about what people will think?

• Have I been able to give my family some happy memories?

• Have I helped someone when they genuinely needed me?

• Am I still curious about life?

• Can I appreciate a cup of tea, a beautiful sunset, an old song or an unexpected phone call from a friend?

If the answer to some of these questions is yes, perhaps we are doing better than we think.

And if the answer is no, there is no reason to feel defeated. Life gives us opportunities to begin again. Sometimes a new beginning doesn’t require a grand announcement. It begins with a small decision to change something.

Call an old friend. Spend some time with your parents. Take a walk. Learn something new. Apologise if you were wrong. Forgive somebody if you can. Start working on that dream you have been postponing for years.

Life is still happening. Don’t miss it while preparing for a better version of it.

Finally, how do I define success?

If somebody asks me today, “What is success in life?”, I probably won’t give a very philosophical answer.

I would simply say:

Success is when you have enough courage to chase your dreams, enough patience to accept your failures, enough wisdom to appreciate what you have, and enough kindness to make somebody else’s life a little happier.

It is having ambitions without becoming arrogant.

It is earning money without losing your values.

It is loving people without keeping a balance sheet of favours.

It is growing older without allowing your heart to become old.

And it is reaching the end of another ordinary day, knowing that you tried your best, laughed a little, loved a little, helped somebody and didn’t deliberately hurt anyone.

Of course, I still want to achieve things. I still have dreams. I still want to do better, earn better, travel more, learn more and experience more.

I am not suggesting that we should abandon our ambitions and sit under a tree waiting for enlightenment!

But I don’t want to spend my entire life running towards success and discover, one fine day, that I forgot to live.

Perhaps success is not a destination after all.

Perhaps it is the ability to enjoy the journey, even when the road is uneven, the weather is unpredictable and sometimes the company is not what we expected.

And if, after all these years, a few people can genuinely say, “He was a good man. We enjoyed having him around,” I think I would consider that a fairly decent achievement.

Because at the end of the day, we may not remember how much somebody earned, how big his house was or how many awards he received. But we do remember how that person made us feel.

And perhaps, just perhaps, that is what success is all about.

One last thought:

Don’t make your life so busy becoming successful that you forget to become happy.

What about you? How do you define success? Is it money, achievement, peace of mind, family, freedom, or simply the ability to wake up every morning without regretting the life you are living?

I would genuinely love to know. Because perhaps success has as many definitions as there are people living on this planet.